Response to a form rejection in the slush today:
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Regretfully, I am unable to accept your rejection at this time.
Despite what might sound like a cocky attitude, I am, to the contrary, quite unique in that I have until recently refused to allow myself to be certain about any of the major areas of life. It has been my observation that most others are absolutely certain by the time they are twenty years old of their beliefs toward themselves, other indivdiduals and groups, religion, politics, relationships, social issues and everything else in life.
This makes little sense, as did the next several paragraphs on...some stuff. Then there was a note that let me know that the book was 90% ready to go and how I probably didn't see much of that.
Jaw. Drop. All this has done is inflate the count on my inbox. Please don't respond to form rejections. I know they seem callous, but with literally thousands of queries to read, they're necessary if I'm going to reassure you that your query was read. By a real person.
Sending me a response (and a long one at that) is just annoying, unfortunately--even a thank you is just upping that "Unread" count.