Thanks to everyone that entered!!! This was a fun one to judge; some of you really got building the story around the last line. It's hard to start with one piece of a story and make something cohesive happen, without anything feeling tacked on or convenient. Since most of us get our ideas for books in pieces--A BRILLIANT FIRST LINE--I thought it'd be a good exercise. Hope you liked it!!
So, the results:
First VERY honorable mention was Rachel Levine at 4:59. I was rolling on the floor. SO funny. The last line wasn't quite organically integrated, though. Verrry close; great job!!
Second HM is Gabriela at 7:32. The writing was tight and the back-and-forth was really nice. The last line felt natural...but I thought it more a snippet of a (very well written) scene than a full story.
And, the winners. Yes, yes, there are 2!! In no order:
Tofu2 at 5:29 with a sweet, poignant short that was perhaps the most complete story of the bunch. Well done!!
Rachel Levine at 4:59 with a hysterical nod at those most clammorous demanders of their pound of flesh. Great references, and I loved that you captured the Crackberry aid in just a couple of lines.
Tofu and Rachel, email me at proseblog[@]gmail[dot]com with your addresses; I'll send you your books! (Or, if you want a query or first 10 pages critiqued, we can do that).