Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Orange Is The Perfect Fruit

In response to the outrageous claim of one rapscallion @DbGrady on Twitter, that the banana* is the perfect fruit, I submit that the orange is the perfect fruit. Here's why:

  1. The orange quenches your thirst and sates hunger.
  2. The orange comes wrapped in a hearty, sanitary rind that is still easily peeled away.**
  3. The orange comes PRE-DIVIDED into sections for easy eating on the go or sharing.
  4. The orange has a fantastic texture. Not too squishy.
  5. The orange has the perfect flavor: tangy, tart, sweet.
Agree? Disagree? Tell me here or tell @DBGrady on Twitter.

*In point of fact, the banana is actually the SLUT of the food world. It's in everything. Buh Duh Cha!

**Unlike the banana, which bruises easily and is hard to peel--that top nobby thing always bends, but doesn't snap!


  1. The orange is definitely better than the banana!

  2. Bananas are highly suspect in their origin. They have no seeds, yet grow on trees and each one is genetically identical to the next, yet no two bunches are identical. Clearly this is the work of alien scientists. :-P

    Oranges are awesome. Not only are they yummy, but their name makes sense.

    1. Josin, I think you've raised some excellent points.

  3. Personally, I prefer my fruit in a glass. Fermented. Remind me to never bake you banana bread.

  4. And that is why I love Joyce Tremel.

  5. Your bizarre usage of the word "easily" leads me to conclude that you've never actually attempted to peel an orange.

  6. Well! I'm pretty sure bananas aren't even fruits but rhyzomes. I never!

  7. Replies
    1. For everyone's information, this was that rapscallion @DBGrady, who is apparently in possession of sufficient free time to do things like this, which could get him SUED for LIBEL!

  8. I've never had a banana spit burning acid into my eye. I can't say the same about oranges.

    That said, I only tolerate my bananas when they come in a peel. Anything banana-flavored that isn't actually a proper banana anymore is to be scorned.

  9. While oranges are hands down superior... you can't teach an entire class full of adolescents the proper way to apply a condom on an orange... *whistles innocently*