tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post2413546623266604303..comments2024-03-20T03:14:54.419-04:00Comments on La Vie en Prose: Happy Spring!Meredith Barneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02718251724577409962noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-57539396744764857852011-04-22T10:13:00.959-04:002011-04-22T10:13:00.959-04:00I missed it too, Delia. Guess we both need s lesso...I missed it too, Delia. Guess we both need s lesson in scrolling. Total bummer.Sarah Henninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06822639126179367121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-56873969822131146102011-04-22T09:45:26.483-04:002011-04-22T09:45:26.483-04:00Or I would have had time if I hadn't read the ...Or I would have had time if I hadn't read the date incorrectly. My sincerest apologies.Delia Moranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01957513773943040065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-89978115620346673012011-04-22T09:41:43.171-04:002011-04-22T09:41:43.171-04:00Bummer, I missed that Contest Closed post and I st...Bummer, I missed that Contest Closed post and I still had time by my clock. :( Oh well, maybe next time. (Please that there's a next time?)Delia Moranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01957513773943040065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-4821140509368293392011-04-22T09:37:06.573-04:002011-04-22T09:37:06.573-04:00"Of course, my favorite color is green,"..."Of course, my favorite color is green," she said. Henry prayed for patience. "Not that horrible green your car turns when it's covered in pollen – you really should wash it – sage green, or blue-green like Caribbean water." <br /><br />Henry turned up the radio to drown out her yapping, phlegmy voice. She turned it back down. <br /><br />"Mother!"<br /><br />"I was speaking," she said. "Don't be rude. As I was saying, you don't want too much blue – we don't want sky. But perhaps a small jump into blue territory wouldn't hurt."<br /><br />Henry squeezed the steering wheel and remembered why his favorite color was red.<br /><br />_________<br /><br />Terrific contest! I'd love the query critique.Delia Moranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01957513773943040065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-30068772609469352742011-04-21T16:23:09.778-04:002011-04-21T16:23:09.778-04:00Ha ha! I was HOPING the contest would close so I c...Ha ha! I was HOPING the contest would close so I could post this one: <br /><br />“Oh, Suzie! I love New York in the spring! The world’s turning green.”<br />“It’s not spring, MerBear. That’s just the gutter. Jump over that stagnant water or you’ll ruin your sandals.” <br />“But look at that springtime sky! It’s everywhere.”<br />“Too much smog. Nothing to see. But, wait… there’s something!”<br />“Oh my gosh, it’s Kesha, covered in glitter!” <br /> “No, it’s not Kesha. People make that mistake all the time. It’s Joanna Volpe. But, hey! You’re right. It *is* spring.”<br />“Why do you say that?”<br />“That’s not glitter all over Jo; it’s pollen.”Nikkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00763145465029499768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-88836609729752773092011-04-21T14:41:58.826-04:002011-04-21T14:41:58.826-04:00Manny Manchester was a stumpy punk with a fake Eng...Manny Manchester was a stumpy punk with a fake English accent to impress – she didn’t know who. His green water eyes, the color of dead cesspools, rolled from Lauren’s ass up to her breasts. She preferred to stare at the sky which wasn’t much of a strain on her neck given his general lack of height.<br /><br />“Lookin’ lovely today, Miss Lauren. As always.” Manny wheezed to her breasts.<br /><br />She forced herself not to jump away.<br /><br />‘Lookin’ like a rotund, irritating piece of pollen.’ Lauren thought. <br /><br />“Today’s newspaper please.” She kept her gaze fixed on the vast blue above his head.Shannon Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06346078649346825497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-6907707029029015832011-04-21T14:35:34.260-04:002011-04-21T14:35:34.260-04:00I cursed the pollen as I dunked my face into a sin...I cursed the pollen as I dunked my face into a sink full of water. My eyes were itchy, swollen and red. It was either take a face bath or jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. I loved the blue skies and green grass but I would never be a fan of allergy season.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-3790411663151075632011-04-21T12:33:25.916-04:002011-04-21T12:33:25.916-04:00His eyes held the sea. They roared with a green th...His eyes held the sea. They roared with a green that ebbed in the light, like water — catching a glint and changing shades with the angle of his laugh lines. I watched them as they tracked the clouds.<br /><br />We were huddled under an old white quilt, already stained with yellow pollen from a wind that had left my hair in tangles too. I brushed the strands off to keep my view — the one in which I could jump from him to the sky and back again.<br /><br />He smiled when he caught me watching him.<br /><br />“I love you, Mommy.”<br /><br />--------<br /><br />Oooooh, I would love a 5-page critique from you! :)Sarah Henninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06822639126179367121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-78714430987533759132011-04-21T12:20:22.808-04:002011-04-21T12:20:22.808-04:00The center of the flower was filled with water, it...The center of the flower was filled with water, its pollen inaccessible. <br /><br />Again. <br /><br />With each day that passed, I hated this job more and more.<br /><br />I made the jump, the petal I stood on acted as a springboard. I tucked in my wings and landed with a splash. <br /><br />As I floated on my back, I looked at the clear night sky through thin blades of green grass. I contemplated drowning myself. I couldn’t do this anymore.<br /><br />Right then, I made the decision to apply for another position when I got back to the hive.<br /><br />Maybe accounting had something open.<br /><br />5 PAGES PLEASE : ) <br />TWITTER: thansenwritesT.M. Frazierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05939952453919459227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-38918136259983915602011-04-21T12:13:33.984-04:002011-04-21T12:13:33.984-04:00"Drink in the pollen, children! Quickly, befo..."Drink in the pollen, children! Quickly, before it's too late!" <br /><br />It was quite a jump from water to sky, and the tribe of gatherers needed the coffers full of pollen to make it happen. <i>These barbarians, these humans! </i>the zenith sneered to herself, <i>sucking up all the pollen and complaining all the while. Why don't they just leave it out there for us. WE NEED IT! We have to get back to the green! </i><br /><br />"Drink up, children, QUICKLY! It's coming!"<br /><br />ACHOO!!!! <br /><br />----------<br />Such fun! :)Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15815529463046326969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-87869275219410837122011-04-21T12:02:54.987-04:002011-04-21T12:02:54.987-04:00The Berkeley Marina baked in the sun. The Bay was ...The Berkeley Marina baked in the sun. The Bay was army green, pollen from the nearby trees adding a mustard tinge, and as I lay on my stomach, hunkered over the pier’s edge, I watched its waters lap at the wooden pylons below.<br /><br /><em>There.</em><br /><br />An oily patch. None of the “regular” folks who’d come out to fish or enjoy the rare dark blue of the sky would give it a passing glance. But I knew what it meant, what lay beneath. I willed it to jump, to show itself. My hand crept to my side.<br /><br /><em>Damn.</em><br /><br />I’d forgotten my gun.<br /><br />---<br />5pp critique would be great!Kerry Blaisdellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03020787823279912686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-38774556402940372422011-04-21T11:55:51.230-04:002011-04-21T11:55:51.230-04:00OK! You guys, thanks so much for entering; the con...OK! You guys, thanks so much for entering; the contest is now closed!! Please feel free to post more if you want, but judged entries stop here.Meredith Barneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02718251724577409962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-4448651245022341402011-04-21T11:45:08.051-04:002011-04-21T11:45:08.051-04:00It had been too long since I’d seen the sky: blue,...It had been too long since I’d seen the sky: blue, and bright, hanging like a canopy of hope over a green field heady daisies bursting with pollen. I shivered in the evil gale and torrential rain that had tossed our ship for days. I looked down in the eerie light cast on the raging waters by the ships’ last, stubborn lanterns. If I didn’t escape now, I might never make it home. I cast one last look back at the drowning ship and then, not without much trepidation, I jumped.<br /><br />Anything! :DBPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16407715408242911362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-60394642433064965902011-04-21T11:42:11.857-04:002011-04-21T11:42:11.857-04:00I water my lawn under the blue sky to keep it gree...I water my lawn under the blue sky to keep it green. A bee, in search of pollen, buzzes looking for flowers. There are none for I grow no flowers; just a green lush lawn. <br /><br />I think to myself as I spray water toward the bee chasing it off, “Buy your honey at the grocery store like I do.“<br /><br />The water brings out worms, racing for the sidewalk and safety. I squash them beneath my sandals. <br /><br />I reflect upon this Earth Day and past ones as I plant my “keep of the grass” sign. I love the earth.Constantine V. Cotsoradishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06024667649234710514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-46618374866988872312011-04-21T11:39:04.473-04:002011-04-21T11:39:04.473-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.BPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16407715408242911362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-31946161481888967462011-04-21T11:38:07.260-04:002011-04-21T11:38:07.260-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.BPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16407715408242911362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-87712824629937753132011-04-21T11:35:56.101-04:002011-04-21T11:35:56.101-04:00To make the poison, Alexis reached her long finger...To make the poison, Alexis reached her long fingers into the dirt. She plucked at the wild mushrooms and pulled the ramps carefully by their roots. The sky above was the cold gray of April and a light rain fell. She gathered quickly, shaking the water and tree pollen from the spring-green leaves, and placing the white orbs gently in her satchel. He had betrayed her, but was it his fault? Or the other’s? Did she jump to the wrong conclusion? It no longer mattered. Tonight, she would make a meal like he had never tasted. A dinner to die for. <br /><br />I'd love the query critiqueLisa G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10032500653548770323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-71913450346530639122011-04-21T11:28:03.317-04:002011-04-21T11:28:03.317-04:00The green liquid in the bottom of the can should’v...The green liquid in the bottom of the can should’ve been water. I peered inside, past the reflection of my face and the sky as I decided how to figure out what the stuff was. A fluff of pollen floated down and landed on the surface, and I wondered if it would be dissolved like tissue in acid. A few seconds passed where nothing happened, then a loud pop made me jump. The pollen burst into flames and the ashes sunk to the bottom. Damn Merlin forgot to put his stuff away again.<br /><br />I would like the query critique please. Thanks for hosting this contest!Kaleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03104611823742775404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-29173273982719936122011-04-21T11:22:33.994-04:002011-04-21T11:22:33.994-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lisa G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10032500653548770323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-73493873091444277552011-04-21T11:11:43.789-04:002011-04-21T11:11:43.789-04:00The soft green pollen floats into my room, breakin...The soft green pollen floats into my room, breaking through the feeble screen. It’s springtime in Virginia and the pollen is alive here. It coats everything in a powdery bile green film. <br /><br />I want to drive down the highway. Past the water marshes that line it, over the bridge. Over the bridge and under the clear blue sky, cloudless. Hot already, although it isn’t noon yet. It’s so much hotter here than it is at home. <br /><br />I want to drive down the highway. But alas, my car needs a jump. <br /><br />---<br />Thanks for doing the contest! I would like the 5 page read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-1500838812382491092011-04-21T10:52:19.890-04:002011-04-21T10:52:19.890-04:00Stuck alongside an empty Texas road on a blazing a...Stuck alongside an empty Texas road on a blazing afternoon with only three water bottles and a granola bar was not my idea of vacation.<br /><br />“Try your phone,” said Jack.<br /><br />“No service.” I'd checked hours ago when the sun was still overhead in the sky.<br /><br />“Somebody's gotta drive by. Jump-start us or something.”<br /><br />My husband, the not-so-automotively-inclined. “Won't fix an overheated engine, babe. Needs coolant.”<br /><br />But we got lucky. A truck green with pollen pulled up beside us, rolled down the window. “Y'all know there's a town across that ridge, right?”<br /><br />Brilliant.<br /><br />***<br /><br />Query critique or first five? Hm. Both are excellent, but I think I'd go with a first five eval.<br /><br />Thanks for doing the contest!A. Lockwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04978856161066277320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-80368508949646365882011-04-21T08:58:47.124-04:002011-04-21T08:58:47.124-04:00We’d spent many days at the lake, floating on poll...We’d spent many days at the lake, floating on pollen-coated water until stars graced the evening sky. Isobel would talk about exploring the world, but I knew my life wouldn’t take me far from the farm. She'd left for college that summer, and I’d remained, wishing I’d had the guts to kiss her.<br />Ten years passed before she ran through my green fields again. I’d reached the dock in time to see her jump, and we’d spent the afternoon floating; our fingertips touching.<br />We’d parted with a kiss, and the next day I’d discovered Isobel had died a week earlier.<br /><br />-----------<br /><br />I'd choose a first five pages evaluation! Thanks so much for this contest!Jaime Lorenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18392626360063082592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-16540476201665515842011-04-21T08:42:32.049-04:002011-04-21T08:42:32.049-04:00Dan drew the dingy up. The rain made it hard to te...Dan drew the dingy up. The rain made it hard to tell where the sky started and the water began. It had been that way with him and Jane. Hard to tell where one stopped and the other started. <br /><br />He coughed as he jumped onto the dock and tied up. Pollen had made Jane cough. Dust and cold weather had too. Mostly two packs a day had made her cough, but at the time it seemed churlish to say so. <br /><br />He should have been churlish, Dan thought, as he lifted the empty green jar out of the dingy.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------<br />I would love either of the critiques.Christina Aurethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05717036758785519912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-78632029906090846142011-04-21T07:33:20.923-04:002011-04-21T07:33:20.923-04:00Oh, I love prompts!
My wings fluttered through th...Oh, I love prompts!<br /><br />My wings fluttered through the bright sky, carrying me over the emerald green grass, to where a perfect lily called to me. My feet slipped into its fluffy sacs as I drank my fill of golden nectar. Pollen stuck to my tender places and it wasn’t until I jumped to a rose, that it fell off. <br /><br />I wish I could bathe in the crystal water of the birdbath, but that would mean my death and this buzzy bee has too much work to do this spring.<br /><br />--first 5 crit!Eliza Tiltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00765731038856226730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6809343867197930371.post-51745106383231911652011-04-21T05:24:43.418-04:002011-04-21T05:24:43.418-04:00The sneeze jolted me awake, like cold water down m...The sneeze jolted me awake, like cold water down my shirt. I had been lulled into a thin stupor by the A train's lurching route from 59th to 125th. It happened more often than it should. <br /><br />A guy wearing a stained Green Day shirt wiped his glistening nose on his bare hand.<br />"Goddamn pollen," he said, with a viscous inhale. <br /><br />There was a jump in the track and his hand sprung up to the pole, his pinky intimately laying on my thumb. I knew it wasn't on purpose but I hated him just the same. I adjusted my grip, closed my eyes, and waited for the sky. <br /><br />--I'll take the 5 pg critique if I'm so lucky.TPoellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07939334239002576231noreply@blogger.com